Today I want to talk about success. I want to discuss what it means to be successful.
Is success about wealth, power, or recognition? Or is it something more personal and evolving?
In this episode, Iโll challenge traditional definitions of success and explore what truly matters, whether in life, career, or language learning.
Letโs rethink success together!
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Vocabulary
- Accomplishments (Noun): Things that have been achieved successfully.
- His accomplishments in the field of science were recognized by numerous awards.
- Tangible (Adjective): Perceptible by touch; capable of being touched or physically measured.
- The artistโs work had a tangible quality that made it feel real.
- Growth (Noun): The process of developing or maturing physically, mentally, or emotionally.
- Her personal growth over the past year has been remarkable.
- Subjective (Adjective): Based on or influenced by personal feelings, tastes, or opinions.
- The review was highly subjective, as it reflected the criticโs personal preferences.
- Objective (Adjective): Not influenced by personal feelings or opinions; based on facts.
- The judge was expected to provide an objective assessment of the evidence presented in court.
- Fulfilment (Noun): The achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted.
- Finding fulfilment in her work has been her primary goal since she started her career.
- External (Adjective): Relating to or located on the outside; outward.
- The external appearance of the building was as important as the design of the interior.
Am I Successful?
At the end of 2024, I released an episode talking about my accomplishments last year and setting myself goals for this year.
Since recording that episode, I have spent a lot of time thinking about success. I have been thinking about what it means to be a successful podcaster, what it means to be a successful businessperson, and what it means to be successful in other parts of my life.
The problem Iโm having is that I see myself as successful in one part of my life, and not that successful in other parts. My podcast can be successful in terms of listener numbers but is not necessarily financially successful. And this causes me a lot of anxiety and stress.
Another example is that, while I have a wonderful relationship with my wife, I donโt have many friends or much of a social life where I live at the moment.
As Iโve been thinking about this topic of success over the past few months, I thought I would share some of my thoughts with you guys.
And Iโd like to ask you a question now, at the beginning of this episode: Do you consider yourself successful?
Iโd like you to comment (on Spotify, YouTube etc) your answer to this question and share your reasons. I think it would give motivation and perspective to many other people who may be a little lost (including myself).
Defining Success
Traditional Definitions
Success is one of those concepts that seems universally understood, but when you try to define it, it becomes clear that it is subjective. What you think success means might be different to what I think success means.
I think many people associate success with tangible or external accomplishments. โTangibleโ means something you can touch. In this sense, things that people can easily measure or see are used to define success.
For example, it is really common to define success in terms of financial wealth, career accomplishments, or your academic excellence. These are the types of accomplishments that are most obvious to the wider world.
If you graduated from one the best universities in the world, people would see you as successful. If you were the CEO or director of a company, people would see you as successful. Or if you have a lot of money, people may see you as successful.
I think the financial point is a big one in success. I have spent my whole life saying to people that I donโt really care about money โ I just want to do something Iโm passionate about. Increasingly, though, Iโm becoming more and more anxious about money. And Iโm starting to measure my podcast success financially rather than in terms of the quality of the podcast itself, which is something I donโt want to do.
I think a lot of this is connected to social media. I see people displaying their wealth and their lifestyles as a symbol of success, and I get jealous.
Alternative Definitions
There are other definitions of success, though. I constantly remind myself that while I may not be super financially successful, I am successful in a lot of other ways.
For example, we could define success in terms of happiness and fulfilment. The other day I was telling my wife that I find so much enjoyment in making a cup of coffee in the morning, walking in the sunshine, then writing a few podcast episodes and replying to my listeners messages on Instagram.
Every day I am so happy that I get to do this as a job.
I have friends who have such great relationships, strong friendships, and passions for hobbies, that they can be happy without ever thinking about money or careers.
Another definition of success is in terms of growth and improvement. Rather than measuring success in objective terms (like earning $100,000 a year), I think it is better to measure success relatively. Are you in a better position than the past? Are you happier? Are you enjoying your job more?
I have grown so much since starting Thinking in English. In late 2020 I was working at a supermarket 4 days a week, teaching English online 5 or 6 days a week, and creating Thinking in English episodes that only 5 or 6 people would listen to.
Now I do this as my fulltime job. That is success.
Another definition of success is to think about the positive impact that you have on society as a whole.
I think about this a lot.
The CEO of an oil company is one of the most financially successful people in the world. But they are responsible for destroying the planet. A person high up in a corporate job, probably has a role that does nothing for the rest of society โ their contribution to the world is nothing.
Nurses, teachers, and charity workers, on the other hand, may be lower paid but will be making a better impact on the world.
Success Is Relative and Ever-Changing
I think it should be clear that success is relative and changing. It is not a fixed concept.
When youโre 10 years old, success might be about getting the best grades, winning a sports competition, or being the most popular kid in school.
When you become an adult, the things that seemed like success at age 10 become insignificant or irrelevant. This continues through life. As we gain new experiences, our goals and our sense of what it means to be successful also change.
Success in middle age might be about finding work-life balance or raising children. In older age, success might revolve around spending time with loved ones or feeling fulfilled in retirement.
Arrival Fallacy
A key psychological concept related to success is the “arrival fallacy.” This is the belief that once we reach a specific goal or achieve a particular level of success, we will experience lasting happiness and fulfilment.
Many people believe that once they achieve a major goal, like buying a house or making a certain amount of money, everything else will fall into place and they will finally be satisfied. In other words, they will finally feel successful.
The problem is that the feeling is usually temporary. This is the โarrival fallacy.โ
Once we reach a goal, we often set new ones, believing that the next achievement will bring happiness. This cycle of goal setting and goal chasing can create an endless loop where we never truly feel at peace.
For example, you may believe that getting a promotion will make you feel successful and happy. But after reaching that goal, you might immediately begin aiming for the next promotion or higher salary. You will never fully appreciate the achievement youโve just reached.
This is why I think seeing things in terms of growth and improvement is a better definition of success. And enjoying the progress you make as you grow and improve.
Success as a Language Learner
One thing that connects all Thinking in English listeners is that you are learning (maintaining) the English language. So, I think it would be useful to think about what it means to be a successful language learner.
In language learning success is also subjective and based on your own personal goals. For some of you, success might mean being able to hold a conversation in English without feeling embarrassed. For others, it might involve passing IELTS or TOEFL with a high grade.
The definition of success shifts based on individual circumstances. And as your language level improves, your definition of success probably changes too.
I think the arrival fallacy I mentioned previous is really common in language students. People feel like once they reach a certain level, or they pass a certain exam, they will finally be a fluent โEnglish speaker.โ The problem is that there is never an end point to language learning. There is always another thing to learn.
If you define your success on specific goals, you will never be content. Instead, we should see success through our progress.
The fact that you are doing better than you were in the past, you are enjoying the studying, you are becoming more comfortable in using English, you are getting better in certain areas โ all of this is being successful.
In the context of language learning, success is often tied to patience and consistency. Success as a language learner isnโt about sudden breakthroughs, but about the daily effort to improve.
Final Thought
This episode has reflected my personal thoughts over recent months.
Traditionally, success has been defined by external things like wealth and accomplishments. These can be measured through material possessions, job titles, or awards.
However, I think that we should be redefining what it means to be successful.
Perhaps we should measure success on our own values. Rather than measuring success on the external things that people can see, we should measure based on our own ideas and values.
A good demonstration of this is to think about material objects. If you saw a man driving a new Lamborghini, wearing a handmade Italian suit, and a gold Rolex watch on his wrist, stood next to a man in jeans and a t-shirt with a cheap $20 watch, who is more successful?
What if the man with jeans and a cheap watch has his own company doing something he is very passionate about, spends every evening and weekend with his family, and is always helping out his neighbours? What if the person with nice car and suit has leased his car, bought his clothes and watches on credit cards, and spends all their money on โlooking successfulโ?
We canโt judge success on external factors. We canโt judge success on salaries, or job titles, or academic achievements. Why? Because we donโt know where people started.
Who is more successful โ a person who graduates from Harvard after being privately educated at the best schools with wealthy parents, or a low-income person from a neighbourhood with terrible schools who managed to graduate from a mid-level university?
I believe success should be about purpose and continuous growth. It should be about the small steps that make your life better than it was in the past.
What do you think? What does success mean to you? Do you consider yourself successful?
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